The Zombie Apocalypse of Malaysia

Oh well.

I think we have a very serious problem in Malaysia. I think there must be a spreading contagion of zombies, threatening to turn our population into the undead. And I don't think we have some sort of hot chick ready to blast away, guns blazing, saving us from our fate. At least not in Malaysia. Oh well.

Now before you scratch your head in bewilderment and wonder if you got the right blog or whether your suspicions of my mental soundness were true, allow me to explain. I have not, in fact, seen any zombies. However, I can deduce that there must be some sort of grey matter hungry creatures lurking about because of the SHEER AMOUNT OF BRAINS DISAPPEARING FROM OUR COUNTRY.

Malaysia's human capital leak ( or should I say flood?) is getting worse and worse every year. According to the World Bank, the number of skilled Malaysians living abroad has tripled in the last two decades with two out of every 10 Malaysians with tertiary education opting to leave for either OECD (Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development) countries or Singapore.

What those numbers mean is that if you are in a room with five people now, one person out of your gang will be gone. Poof! into another land where every Ali, Ah Kau, and Muthusamy has turned into a Tom, Dick and Harry; where people try to become darker instead of fairer; where air conditioners turn into heaters. Or they could have just gone down to Singapore. Yawn.

According to some very reliable sources, the push factors for the human resource flight are career prospects, compensation and social justice. Some Malaysians also cite better living conditions, weather, accessibility, public transport, transparent governance blablablablabla. Basically, Malaysia sucks.

And I dare say that again in big bold capital letters. MALAYSIA SUCKS.

Mamak stall!

Oh yes, the government is terrible, and as transparent as a rock can get. The public service definition of fast would have put even the Tortoise from the story the Tortoise and the Hare to shame. Yes, this is a country where Pizza Hut arrives faster than the police. Malaysia is a baking oven half the time, and the other half it's drenched in the torrential downpour. It's a place where you order roti canai and you can't even tell whether that waiter at the mamak shop is nodding or shaking his head. ( oh right, forgot about India.) It's a place where you ask "Excuse me, could I have a size L sweater please?" and instead of hearing "I'm sorry ma'am that item is currently available", we get two words: "No stock!". In a nutshell, so many things are terrible about Malaysia.

Enough with the complaints. For a moment, just forget about all that. Just humour me a while more, and play along. Close your eyes, and imagine your parents. They've taken care of you for years, nurturing you, providing so many good memories, a place to stay, food to eat- they've given you a life. Now imagine if they became sick. Suppose they become afflicted with Alzheimer's. They go crazy, don't recognise you as their child, forgot who they were, and start making a mess of the house. Do you abandon them? Or do you try to find a cure for them, help them?

Malaysia is now in that situation. Malaysia is like a senile parent, asking some of her children to get out of the country, telling some they don't belong here; she rages and messes up things, making life difficult for her children; she bogs them down financially, denying them some opportunities to advance their career. She has forgotten who she is.

And so have we. For a moment, just try to remember all the things our country has given us. Those late night mamak stall adventures; those times when we used our hands, fork and spoon, and chopsticks all in the same meal!; the ability to swear in four languages and seven dialects; to have our ears perk up at the call of the ice cream man; to have our dogs howl at the monotone drawl of the "Old Newspaper" guy. So much beauty in our country.

Be the change you want to see in the world.

That beauty deserves a second chance from us all. Rather than leaving, rendering the country poorer and at a loss; why not stay, contribute, do something. Help Malaysia remember who she is, heal the country of the disease; instead of blaming the country itself and abandoning it to its fate.  You see, that's the whole problem with this country. Capable, educated people look at the situation, put up their hands in resignation, then pack their bags and leave. It only worsens the situation. This is our country, why not look at the situation, and resolve to do something now or in the future? Gandhi, Tunku Abdul Rahman and Martin Luther King were all pretty well to do people who could have jolly well left, or carried on with their own privileged lives. They didn't. And for that, we have a better world today.

I know there are difficulties, I know there are reasons to leave. And most of all, I know, Malaysia sucks. But the real question is: what are we doing about it?

I'm not saying don't ever leave for studies, for a job, for a trip. By all means, go ahead. But just remember, wherever you go, you are Malaysian, and for all the bloody diseases that plague this stubborn patient of a country, she's still alive. Malaysia lives. And she needs to be cured.

The Malaysia Grand Sale

I tell you, shopaholics and bargain hunters must LOVE the Malaysian government. After all, Malaysia is probably one of the few governments to give discounts on almost everything, from traffic summonses, to building materials, and now, a 15% income tax incentive to encourage professionals working abroad to return  and serve "Tanah Tumpahnya Darahku".

Yesterday, Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak announced that returning Malaysian professionals would be eligible for a flat rate of 15% income tax for five years. Now there are many problems with this idea.

Firstly, by implementing this 15% income tax flat rate, the government will be alienating those who had returned before this. Those who returned earlier will not be eligible for this benefit, and will definitely feel discriminated against. On top of that, the real patriots who are eager to serve the country, those who have returned to Malaysia right after their studies/ training, those who are in fact most deserving of a reward, will be ignored. All this creates a sense of injustice, and a flaw in logic is apparent- those who are not rewarded are perhaps more deserving? It is the traffic summons case all over again, where dutiful citizens are sidelined while irresponsible offenders are rewarded for paying up late. Where is the logic, the justice in this?

At the same time, the income tax flat rate is not an effective incentive, because of 3Ps- Prospects, Politics and Patriotism.

The first P is Prospects. When people settle in a country, they do not look at one, two, or for that matter, five years. They look at their long term prospects, their chances at enhancing their skills, getting promoted, gaining recognition etc. The 15% income tax incentive is a stopgap measure, an artificial and superficial plug that does not stop brain drain at its roots ( or holes since its a leak?). There have been many cases where patriotic citizens return to serve their country, only to find that despite their qualifications and skills, they are sidelined for those less capable. An acquaintance of mine has been a doctor for over 20 years, and has applied to become a specialist for more than ten years. And yet, his requests are constantly ignored, and when he pressed for an explanation, the senior official simply replied that he stood out too much and its not good to be too hardworking, makes the rest of the service look bad. His is not an isolated case. With little hope of career advancement, with much advanced R&D facilities abroad, and local opportunities to sharpen one's skills being denied, one can only wonder why some choose to continue working abroad.

The second P is Politics. In a country where racism and corruption is so ingrained into national policies, many capable men and women are disgusted at the injustices the country suffers from. From the incessant leaks at Parliament, to the insensitive and barbaric remarks made inside and outside the House; from the infringement and violation of Orang Asli rights, to the dirty, filthy money politics that continues- many professionals are frustrated and saddened, to the point that they have all but given up on Malaysia. 'Leave Malaysia!' they say ' before we all become maids in Indonesia!' Personally, I am of the opinion that their frustration should be channeled into helping Malaysia become a better place, but for the purpose of this essay I shall refrain from divulging into that. In any case, their disappointment in what Malaysia has become is another strong deterrent from their return.

The third P is Patriotism. Not Patriotism per se, but rather a sense of gratitude. Many of our young brilliant minds feel that they do not owe gratitude to Malaysia, and I cannot find it in myself to blame them. Consider the case of one of my friends. At the age of 15, he was the top scholar in my school. An outstanding fellow, he excelled in sports, academics, and leadership roles- he was the love of every teacher and the envy of every other guy who wanted to become half as good as him ( yours sincerely included). He then proceeded to apply to several scholarships, but of course he was rejected by all but one .... none other than our good neighbours Singapore. He is now an ASEAN scholar, and in the O Levels, he was one of the top students in the entire nation of Singapore. Singapore has given him and many of his outstanding Malaysian peers, education, recognition and opportunities, and is continuing to do so. The other day, I met a young woman from who just got her degree in Yale, and is now pursuing her Masters under the financial aid of ... none other than... Singapore! She has also been offered a PR. Who do you think is responsible for the production of such talents? ( and no, I don't mean reproduction.) Who do you think these young minds feel indebted to? Malaysia, or Singapore? And by no means, does being called traitors and unpatriotic make them feel any more affection for the country that failed to appreciate their ability.

And so, the tax incentive is not only an ineffective measure, it also self-defeating in its purpose to instill a sense of belonging and patriotism in those working abroad. It also fails to address the key issues that are at the roots of the Malaysian brain drain. Attractive it may seem, it is definitely a rose with many thorns . In fact, it's one of those roses which looks like a rose, smells like a rose, but in actual fact, is NOT a rose. ( Ah, so it's a Lingam rose? Korek korek korek!)