Young & Beautiful?

Blogger's note: The following article is by Ahmed, a very good friend of mine who was 15 years old when he entered senior year in high school. His is the counterpart to my tale, that of being younger than everyone else in school. Enjoy.

I've always identified myself as a third culture kid, a TCK, a citizen of the world. Essentially, that means that I don’t belong to the culture of the country I was born in, nor do I belong to the culture of the country that I am living in now, but another, international third culture.

Yet it’s not the question “where are you from?” that I struggle with. It’s “how old are you?”

Instantly, the wheels click in my head when I hear those four dreaded words, the bane of my existence. I wonder how to answer the question. Most of the time, I just deflect, change the subject, and try to talk about something else. Occasionally, I tell the truth, that I am 17 (and in my second year of university). It’s a question that really tears me apart, because once you answer it and other people find out, it instantly becomes your only defining characteristic. You stop being that nice guy or that funny guy or that lively guy (I really flatter myself too much), but instantly turn into the guy that’s younger than everyone else. And with that comes its own set stereotypes.

The word “genius” is tossed around a lot. People expect you to possess unparalleled intelligence, they instantly think “oh, I read about this 14-year old kid in the news that’s doing a PhD in neuroscience, who must be like you, right?” No. Not even close.

People expect you to be immature. Those are people that I could never hang out with, people that every time you’d meet the first and only thing they would bring up was your age, and you’d have to sit there and watch them struggle to do math backwards to find out what year I was born.

Then, there were the people that always had it in the back of their minds. The people who, when you try to have a conversation with them, are giving you this blank stare, because you know they’re not even listening to you but thinking about how they could have possibly ended up in this situation where they’re having a serious conversation with someone who, to them, is a child.

To a lot of people, it was as if my age was the only explanation for all of my actions and accomplishments, not because I was smarter or had out-competed my classmates, but because of a number that I had grown to resent and distance myself from overtime. To be honest, I always dismissed these explanations as some underlying resentment or envy from my classmates, not willing to accept that I performed better in school because of factors that were within their control. They would use my age to reassure themselves that was the explanation, and so there was nothing they could do about it.

There are a few that managed to stay above the fray, to be able to accept me for being me and not a product of my age, and those are the people I would count among my closest and dearest friends. Those are the people who were never bothered by my age. They’d be shocked when I told them the first time, then you’d completely forget about it.

Kar Jin writes in his blog post, “At the same time, I also took on with ever greater fervor the perks of being young. Chatting away the wee hours of the morning on the merits of Games of Thrones, dancing and looking like a complete fool in the process, and just YOLO-ing the simple things in daily life.” Life will afford me those guilty pleasures. But then, once I do something that’s more traditionally “my age,” people will respond: ‘Ah, that’s so predictable. It’s because he’s younger than all of us.’ This really makes it difficult to revert back to the way I normally am, because people will just say ‘wait, go back to the silly person you were yesterday, that representation of you makes me more comfortable, because it’s how society has taught me to think you should be like, plus it makes me more comfortable about my own insecurities.’ I’m paraphrasing, of course.

Another thing I faced were girl issues. Girls would NEVER see me as date-able (at least in my grade), but rather as a little brother. This is especially compounded by the fact that girls mature faster than guys. And so, you might be wondering, “well Ahmed, why don’t you date someone your age who isn't in your grade?”

To that, I say that I can never hang out with people that are my own age anymore. That’s because I've spent my whole life surrounded by older people. I am an only child, so I had my parents in the early stages. Then when I went to school, my classmates were older than me, and it has been that way ever since. I've matured at the same speed and level of people that are two, three, heck sometimes four years older than me, and so now I find people my age unbearably childish, ironically just as people older than me sometimes find me incredibly childish. I’m sure this’ll be straightened out in my 20s when we’re all around the same maturity level, more or less, hopefully.

I've decided to tell no one at my university. No one knows my real age (although maybe if they manage to unearth this, my secret will be out). I feel like that’s made people take me more seriously, but I've lost what’s made me unique – I was the child prodigy in ISKL, both a blessing and a curse.

Now, I’ll have to find other avenues to be special. And hopefully, I will be able to find a way to be simply me.

"I've spent my whole life surrounded by older people..."
"Childhood", Taken December 2012 at Napier, NZ. Copyright of OKJ.
Click for larger image.

Politics in Monochrome

Why should politics be in black and white?
The world is not black and white. Even for the colour blind, there are shades of grey (indeed, as many as ahem, Fifty Shades of Grey!). One of the first things we learn as we grow up is that things are often not simple – nuances permeate our world.

Somehow, however, this awareness that the world is not binary is suspended in our perception of Malaysian politics. Depending on whether you follow the mainstream or alternative media, every forthright political participant is pigeon-holed as either an anti-government/pro-opposition troublemaker, or a government-paid lapdog cyber trooper.

Following on from this artificial labelling is the “all-or-nothing” expectation of the personalities involved. Nothing good must be said of the other side, and 100% adherence to your side is demanded.

A recent example is the comment by PAS member of parliament for Hulu Langat Che Mat Che Rosli that radiation levels from the much-loathed Lynas plant were low. He was swiftly bombarded with criticisms including charges that he was paid by the government to lie and he had turned traitor. Che Mat, a nuclear scientist by training, was blasted for stating a fact as he saw it.

Or consider the issue of low wages in Malaysia: those who opposed minimum wage were swiftly branded as selfish rich capitalists while those who supported it were labeled socialists.

This binary view turned Twitterjaya into a class warfare background. Lost in the hostilities was a deeper consideration of the issue at stake, and the reasoning behind the different positions.

Refsa considers this narrow view of politics a serious impediment to the development of a mature democracy in Malaysia. It reduces politics to a two-size fits all dichotomy: you are either all Pakatan or all BN: “[My side] is always good. [My side] is always right. [The other side] is always wrong.”

This all-or-nothing approach is presumptuous and undesirable. It is presumptuous as the stifling of dissent suggests that only the views of the party leaders are correct and important. It is undesirable as it fails to recognise different opinions on particular issues and prevents constructive discourse.

The fact is there can be many potential approaches to address the social problems of our day. Rational, intelligent thinking people would be expected to evaluate proposed policies on a case-by-case basis, and cannot be expected to always support everything a particular party is doing.

Constructive criticism must be welcomed. Dissenters must not be labelled as traitors.

Expanding our horizons
All mature democracies accept constructive criticism as necessary for improvement. Consider this: back in 2008, then Democratic US presidential candidates Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton had differing opinions on how to run the economy and conduct foreign policy. They intensely criticised each other’s proposals, and the debates allowed a consensus on the ‘best’ policies to evolve.

So much so that Mrs Clinton subsequently agreed to serve as President Obama’s Secretary of State!

No one was called a traitor or chucked into some stereotypical category, because the American public recognised the goal of the discourse. Recognising the colourful views that people have can be bitter, but is ultimately beneficial.

For our democracy to mature, we Malaysians must expand our horizons and realise that people have a right to express different stands on different issues. We may have our political leanings but it does not mean we have to support our particular party blindly all the time, for we are not mindless automatons.

In fact, like any parent who has scolded their child will know, it is those who give fair criticism that truly have their beloved’s best interests at heart.

Sadly, our mainstream media is not facilitating this maturation process. Part of the internet vitriol directed at Che Mat following his comments on the Lynas plant were probably because he was misrepresented in the mainstream media. He said that radiation levels were low but the most critical issue of waste disposal had yet to be addressed; the mainstream media quoted him as saying Lynas was safe!

His clarifications were not carried. In this environment, Pakatan leaders and supporters cannot be blamed for being hesitant to express contrary views for fear that they will be taken out of context.

As citizens of Malaysia, we have to be discerning in our views and keep our minds open. The mainstream media, sadly, is unlikely to help as it has plummeted to the depths of lying about Australian senators and censoring BBC news feeds.

Refsa hopes our alternative media can step up. Do not pigeon-hole Pakatan personalities. Do not label them as ‘traitors’ merely for expressing contrary opinions. And when we read mainstream media headlines of “quarrels and disunity’ within Pakatan, do not immediately condemn Pakatan or the personalities but ask yourself “What are the relative merits of the different views/arguments? Will this help the nation?”

With questions like this in our minds, Malaysia will truly be on its way to a colourful and bright democratic future, and not a drab black and white world.

As published on Free Malaysia Today, REFSA & the Malaysian Insider.

The Finger- Star Public Speaking

arThe following is the transcript of the speech that won me runner-up in the recent Star Public Speaking Competition. If I manage to obtain the video I will post it up. The content is somewhat similar to my previous Racism Within post. I hope you enjoy!

*points finger at audience

You. You. And you. All of you.

Ladies and gentlemen, Malaysia is now filled with words. Words ( and numbers) like 1Malaysia, Unity, Diversity, Harmony. But words are not enough. Words are not enough when we do not give meaning to them, when there are incidents like Interlok, the cowhead protest, the Balik Cina comments by a school principal.

These words are not enough, because deep inside, we are ALL guilty of racism. Because as we seek to blame one another as racist, because as we are pointing one finger towards the accused, we have the other fingers pointing at ourselves.

Now before I am labeled as *ahem* unpatriotic, reflect upon the validity of my statement. Imagine you are driving in the car, when suddenly a driver, not of your race, overtakes you without signaling at breakneck speed. Do you then give him *the finger* because *words are not enough* to express your anger? Or do you think Crazy Chinese, Malay Moron, Indian Idiot? There is bound to be some form of racism, where we judge a person first and foremost by the colour of their skin.

And that is the sin we are all guilty of. Just as a ping pong ball must be returned to the hitter for the game to continue, the game of racism can only continue if both sides return volleys and hits. Some may argue that we have no choice because racism is used against us. But the truth is, being racist to those who are racist, is NOT going to make them less racist. In fact, it will only give them more reason to be racist. Racism can only lead to more racism. As Mahatma Gandhi once said: An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

And so, racism is a monster that resides in us all. Specifically, it is a three eyed monster.

The first and earliest I, I for Interior- is our family, our homes, our innermost sanctum. From a very young age, our parents tell us what Malaysia is. They tell us that the Chinese are greedy, cheating liars, that the Malays are lazy and undisciplined, that the Indians are drunk, drugged and dirty, and that Chindians are apparently really good looking. And being young and malleable, we take it all in. And as we grow up, we pass down this culture of racism, a vicious cycle going on and on and on.

The second eye is, our Ignorance. Now as a child, I was afraid of the dark. I feared the darkness because I could not see what monsters were lurking in the shadows. I feared, and thus hated, because I did not understand. And that is what is happening today. We are kept in the dark about each other. As society moves to segregate, label and divide us according to race, we are talking to each other less, eating together less, understanding each other less. In fact, probably the most interracial contact a child has is with a maid! And because of this, we cannot comprehend each other, and thus, we fear and hate each other.

The third and final eye is our Inaction. Years ago, I embarked on my first bus journey home. It was a Chinese school, and all the students were Chinese, with the exception of one boy. This Indian boy was the subject of constant ridicule, constant bullying, constant mockery. I was shocked and shamed, but I did nothing. And by doing nothing, I had condoned and allowed such a blatant act of racism to continue, I had become an accomplice. By my inaction, I had contributed to the chaos that ensued.

I often think back to that moment, and wish I had done something. But my words are not enough. Our words are not enough to heal the racism inside, to take away our ignorance, our inaction. We must act: reflect upon ourselves and ask: Am I guilty of racist thoughts? We must stop this culture of race generalization and of separatism: for only laundry should be separated by color. And most importantly, we must attack the three eyes of racism- so that we may be colour blind.

Ladies and gentlemen, racism may or may not be institutionalized in Malaysia, but racism is definitely internalized in all of us. Fight racism inside yourself, and then carry that fight our to the world.

Remember,

Be the change you want to see in the world.

Author's Note:

When I first saw the theme, "Words Are Not Enough", this was the immediate idea that popped up in my mind. So many election promises and campaigns have been made since Independence to curb racism, and yet the situation is all the more dire today. I knew I was taking a huge risk by choosing a sensitive topic- some even advised me to drop the subject- but we will never eradicate racism by ignoring it. In this case, the message I could potentially bring to the audience and the minds of people far outweighed the risks of being deemed as "seditious".

In the words of George Orwell:

" In times of universal deceit, the telling of the truth becomes a revolutionary act."