Showing posts with label elections. Show all posts
Showing posts with label elections. Show all posts

Saturday, December 22, 2012

ROJAK Awards 2012


REFSA Rojak is our weekly take on the goings-on in Malaysia. We trawl the newsflow, cut to the core and focus on the really pertinent. Full of flavour, lots of crunch, this is the concise snapshot to help Malaysians keep abreast of the issues of the day.
Special Feature: The ROJAK Awards for 2012
As the year draws to a close, and Christmas looms ever nearer, gifts, company dinners, bonuses (and, no doubt, bribes!) are being dished out left, right and centre. In honour of that grand tradition, and to recognise those who have left significant marks on society, be they imprimatur-spots or unpleasant stains, REFSA presents its own ROJAK* awards to Malaysia’s top newsmakers of 2012.
9. Starting off, the Sour Mangoes Merit Prize goes to the sourpusses and turncoats we’ve seen these past few years. From dear Hassan Ali, to the Terrific Turncoat Trio who handed over the reins of Perak to the opposing side via defections, there’s been no end to the puckering and posturing from these ‘frogs’. What a bunch of sour grapes mangoes!
8. Sweet notes are heightened following sour sensations; and theCool Cucumbers Award goes to the new political leaders that we see emerging today. From Saifuddin Abdullah to Nurul Izzah Anwar  to Tony Pua, these individuals not only keep cool, fact-based minds in fiery debates, but also exhibit a willingness to engage in all platforms, be they public forums or social media. Politics is the new cool.
7. The Crunchy Jambu Trophy belongs to the alternative media, who give airtime to our Cool Cucumbers, whistle-blowers such as Rafizi Ramli of cows-and-condos fame and extensive coverage of events such as BERSIH which are peripheral in the world of the mainstream media. For bringing to the forefront the news that matters, this award goes to alternative media outlets like Malaysiakini.
6. When it comes to the Limp Kangkung Gift, there is none more deserving than the mainstream media. In fact, the mainstream media wins hands down (or should we say butts up?). Censoring the British Broadcasting Corporation (another worldwide first for Malaysia, we believe), deviously and deliberately mixing up the words Islam and Scientology in Australian Senator Xenophon’s speech, calling crime a perception problem, … there seems to be no limit to their ability to bend to their masters’ wills.
5. In stark contrast, the Crispy Crackers Cup is awarded to the various bodies who have made us laugh in spite of, and sometimes because of, all the daft comments, scandals, disappointments, and atrocities. From the brave political cartoonists of the likes of Zunar and Johnny Ong, to the netizen-run memes of pages like Curi-curi Wang Malaysia, thank you for cracking us up, and subtly ‘cracking’ irresponsible politicians’ heads with wit and humour derived from their (all too many) foibles.
4. Coming up, by unanimous vote (alright, maybe just 5 people), is the Styrofoam Box Bonanzawhich goes to LYNAS for all its environmental nastiness and suspicious secretiveness. I mean, it’s not the Cold War; it’s not like they are building some radioactive facility for some oppressive, authoritarian government….
3. On the other side of the Styrofoam fence, is the Satay Stick Honour, and this is bestowed upon the Anti-Lynas movement, for, literally and figuratively, walking the talk. These ordinary but gutsy people banded together and walked 300km in 2 weeks on their Green March for a healthy and safe environment. India had its Salt March, Mao Ze Dong had the Long March, now Malaysia has its own Green March. The walk to freedom is long indeed.
2. The Rojak Sauce Salutation goes to the BERSIH movement, for bringing all the disparate flavours of Malaysia together. From old to young, from Malay to Chinese to Kadazan, BERSIH united Malaysians all over the country, in fact, the world, for a just cause. Honourable mention goes to organisations like Tenaganita, the Bar Council and Tindak Malaysia, who advocate, fight for, and defend our rights as citizens of Malaysia and turn the spotlight on incidents of repression and abuse. Working tirelessly, while being paragons of humility, they ensure the weak and oppressed do not stand alone.
1. Last but not least, we have the Order of the Rubber Band. You can have the best rojak sauce in the world, you can have all the freshest fruits of the rainforest, you can have the sticks ready and the box closed, but without a rubber band, that box of rojak may be all for naught. So this award goes to you, the Malaysian voter. We know you are flexible, we know you are adaptable, and we know you recognize that everything has a limit.  So make your choice judiciously, cast your election vote wisely, and take responsibility in protecting and preserving our wonderful, mixed-up, diverse country.
And that’s a wrap.
*ROJAK Awards has neither international accreditation nor the endorsement of local authorities; it is a purely home-grown, cottage industry to give due recognition to all deserving awardees, worthy, or unworthy, of mention. We await an ‘entrepreneurship’ award for our efforts.
-------
As published by REFSA.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Of Santa & Donkeys

Doesn't he look lovely? 
Malaysians love free things. Freebies, buy one free one deals, great giveaways and the whole lot. And of course there is Santa.

Don't worry, I am not implying all Malaysians celebrate Christmas, lest I be struck down, this is a totally different Santa.

Well, granted, this Santa is of similar stature to St. Nicholas, nice spare cold-resistant blubber and all ( though he doesn't live anywhere as cold as the South Pole). Like good ol' Santa, our Malaysian Santa also gives out presents, and is seemingly all powerful at granting wishes. However, that is where the similarity stops.

Our Santa has much bigger lips for one. He also has a penchant for numbers, particular the number One. He also has an amazing mode of transport, however his is even better than the original Santa's, a big, sleek metal car capable of dispersing seas ( Wow he's better than Moses too!) of other vehicles with his siren blaring reindeers. And he is even more powerful than Aladdin's genie, capable of conjuring up miles of highways, clean water ( Wah better than Poseidon!), electricity ( Thor is nothing la!), books, education, and so much more at a mere X. ( Stan Lee can jump in joy knowing the X-Men still live on)

Crossing Santa

The latest stop this Santa has made is in Sarawak, where he has promised Malaysians there a better future- so long as they supply him with an infinite amount of crosses. ( No, I don't mean those crosses, this Santa is not Christian). Apparently, like Santa asli, he too keeps a list of who has been naughty and nice. This is one of those rare occasions where crossing (pun intended) Santa is considered being nice. Not crossing him, according to his many minions, will result in loss of clean water, electricity, stagnation, no development and generally a terrible and miserable existence. ( ah this is one area he loses to Moses; Moses had locusts!)

And following that whole giving/ taking season, his compadre, chipped in the whole seasonal spirit, saying that if the MCA does not gain the support of the Chinese in the next General Expiration, his party will turn down any posts in the Federal Government. Is that a veiled threat? Vote for me or after that the Chinese will have no representatives from the government? Yet another Santa that goes ho! ho! ho! ( in that evil Jabba the Hutt way)
Santa the 2nd

These Santa's are treating us citizens like donkeys. They dangle the carrot before us, so that we obey. And when that fail, they threaten us with the whip, so that we will also obey. But the truth of the matter is, they should just STOP treating us like donkeys, because we are NOT. They assume we are dumb, that we will give in to threats and little gifts.

Well, you know what, I think the time has come to break free of these ideas, and show them we're horses, free spirits capable of running free. I think it is time for us Malaysians to prove to the world that we the citizens, are not going to fall for the dangling carrot and the stinging whip, when we know that a feast is before us. All we have to do, is reach out, and make a stand, show them we are capable of thinking for ourselves, and give them a good kick on their bums.

And then, these Santas will realise just who are the masters..... And who are the asses.

* Note: After writing this, I realise I may have been overly sarcastic and demeaning. However, please do know that all fun poked at politicians is simply in jest. I recognise that our PM is certainly making good efforts with the 1Malaysia campaign, and Mr. Chua certainly is an accountable, and responsible politician. However, the point of this sarcasm is not to demean them, but rather to highlight what I view as wrong in a way that is 1. humourous, 2. non-preachy 3. will reach deep in the hearts of these men.

If in the course of this post, I have offended anyone, I apologise, and please do know that it was not my intention to hurt, but to highlight.