Monday, May 2, 2011

Of Santa & Donkeys

Doesn't he look lovely? 
Malaysians love free things. Freebies, buy one free one deals, great giveaways and the whole lot. And of course there is Santa.

Don't worry, I am not implying all Malaysians celebrate Christmas, lest I be struck down, this is a totally different Santa.

Well, granted, this Santa is of similar stature to St. Nicholas, nice spare cold-resistant blubber and all ( though he doesn't live anywhere as cold as the South Pole). Like good ol' Santa, our Malaysian Santa also gives out presents, and is seemingly all powerful at granting wishes. However, that is where the similarity stops.

Our Santa has much bigger lips for one. He also has a penchant for numbers, particular the number One. He also has an amazing mode of transport, however his is even better than the original Santa's, a big, sleek metal car capable of dispersing seas ( Wow he's better than Moses too!) of other vehicles with his siren blaring reindeers. And he is even more powerful than Aladdin's genie, capable of conjuring up miles of highways, clean water ( Wah better than Poseidon!), electricity ( Thor is nothing la!), books, education, and so much more at a mere X. ( Stan Lee can jump in joy knowing the X-Men still live on)

Crossing Santa

The latest stop this Santa has made is in Sarawak, where he has promised Malaysians there a better future- so long as they supply him with an infinite amount of crosses. ( No, I don't mean those crosses, this Santa is not Christian). Apparently, like Santa asli, he too keeps a list of who has been naughty and nice. This is one of those rare occasions where crossing (pun intended) Santa is considered being nice. Not crossing him, according to his many minions, will result in loss of clean water, electricity, stagnation, no development and generally a terrible and miserable existence. ( ah this is one area he loses to Moses; Moses had locusts!)

And following that whole giving/ taking season, his compadre, chipped in the whole seasonal spirit, saying that if the MCA does not gain the support of the Chinese in the next General Expiration, his party will turn down any posts in the Federal Government. Is that a veiled threat? Vote for me or after that the Chinese will have no representatives from the government? Yet another Santa that goes ho! ho! ho! ( in that evil Jabba the Hutt way)
Santa the 2nd

These Santa's are treating us citizens like donkeys. They dangle the carrot before us, so that we obey. And when that fail, they threaten us with the whip, so that we will also obey. But the truth of the matter is, they should just STOP treating us like donkeys, because we are NOT. They assume we are dumb, that we will give in to threats and little gifts.

Well, you know what, I think the time has come to break free of these ideas, and show them we're horses, free spirits capable of running free. I think it is time for us Malaysians to prove to the world that we the citizens, are not going to fall for the dangling carrot and the stinging whip, when we know that a feast is before us. All we have to do, is reach out, and make a stand, show them we are capable of thinking for ourselves, and give them a good kick on their bums.

And then, these Santas will realise just who are the masters..... And who are the asses.

* Note: After writing this, I realise I may have been overly sarcastic and demeaning. However, please do know that all fun poked at politicians is simply in jest. I recognise that our PM is certainly making good efforts with the 1Malaysia campaign, and Mr. Chua certainly is an accountable, and responsible politician. However, the point of this sarcasm is not to demean them, but rather to highlight what I view as wrong in a way that is 1. humourous, 2. non-preachy 3. will reach deep in the hearts of these men.

If in the course of this post, I have offended anyone, I apologise, and please do know that it was not my intention to hurt, but to highlight.


  1. Nice...especially the last phrase... ><

  2. Talk about sarcastic... If this blog ever breaks out, you've got to hide! ;P

    Great post!